it's like iHOP with fire
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
