sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
this just has baby written all over it
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize