what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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