I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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