Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
