walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
