you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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