Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Pooping to opera.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
