Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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