It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Come see our sink grown plant.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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