My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
