So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
