i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
