You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
