Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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