my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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