you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize