i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
