Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
