The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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