but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
