do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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