I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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