Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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