i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
