im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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