i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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