I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize