Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
