Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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