im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
