what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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