Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
