DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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