I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
