If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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