So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
