your thong is hanging out like whoa
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize