sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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