people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
