did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
