she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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