The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
