Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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