I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
