Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
