I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
