Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
