Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
