I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
