I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
