is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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