if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
