im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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