I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize