Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize