check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
