it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
