i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
