A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
