That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
