i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
my shit smells like andre
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
