I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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