on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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