ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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