obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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