I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
