i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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